Defining boundaries: A new Neurodivergent-informed resource and training workshop
Kay Louise Aldred, NdC’s Development Lead, shares her experience of defining boundaries and explores the need that inspired us to develop our Neurodivergent-affirming guide and training workshop on ‘Understanding Boundaries’.
Boundaries are essential for our wellbeing, healthy relationships and working sustainably. Intellectually I know that. Yet, as a Neurodivergent individual, I have found that understanding and setting boundaries incredibly challenging. This has been further complicated by the fact that much of the literature, self-help strategies and wellbeing approaches related to boundary setting are not Neurodivergent-informed and for me, this has been unhelpful and at times has led to shame and self-blame. Trying to work out my boundaries and communicate them whilst simultaneously navigating sensory overload, managing social neuronormative expectations, and balancing professional demands, in environments where there was no allowed processing time, has been a struggle and I have sometimes found attempts to uphold personal limits overwhelming.
In addition, in both professional and personal contexts, I, like many other Neurodivergent people I expect, have often been encouraged (or required) to share my lived experiences to advocate for understanding, adjustment or change. While sharing can and has been empowering at times, it has also blurred boundaries and led to feelings of overexposure or emotional exhaustion.
These are some of the reasons that inspired us to offer a new ‘Understanding Boundaries’ free resource and ‘Understanding Boundaries’ training workshop at Neurodiverse Connection, which we delivered to some members of the Culture of Care Team earlier this summer. It is designed to empower Neurodivergent individuals to understand, establish, and maintain healthy boundaries. The workshop is more than just a training and giving of information – it’s a space for self-reflection, and discussion (if desired), and gives ideas for the practical application of strategies, which we encourage you to tailor to your unique needs and situation.
Why are boundaries important and yet might also be a challenge for Neurodivergent individuals?
At its core, a boundary defines what’s okay and what’s not okay for you. Our boundaries are our limits. They help us to protect our energy, increase feelings of safety, and build healthier relationships and more sustainable ways of being and doing in the world. For Neurodivergent individuals, boundary setting can be particularly complex. I’ve found that factors such as sensory and rejection sensitivities, misunderstanding social ‘norms’, masking, nervous system dysregulation and people-pleasing due to trauma have often made it difficult to advocate for personal needs. I also know from talking to other Neurodivergent people that alexithymia and being hyposensitive to sensory needs means not always being able to interpret interoceptive cues of hunger, stress, fatigue, and emotional states can make proactive boundary setting a challenge.
I have often asked myself where in society is there really to go for support with boundary setting? And is it really socially acceptable to set limits and say no in an ‘always on’ society which celebrates and rewards over-productivity? And where is healthy boundary setting being role modelled for us? Other common struggles I’ve personally grappled with include saying "yes" when I meant "no" and feeling that I had to share personal experiences in professional settings to be credible or believed. This resource and training workshop explores these and other questions and issues.
What does the training workshop cover?
This workshop provides an inclusive and holistic approach to boundary-setting, focusing on education, reflection, and skill-building strategies. Here’s what to expect:
Session 1: Understanding Boundaries
What Are Boundaries?
Why Do Boundaries Matter?
Identifying Your Boundaries:
Session 2: Setting and Maintaining Boundaries
How to Set and Communicate Boundaries
What to Do When Boundaries Aren’t Respected
Sharing Lived Experiences
Who might find this workshop useful?
If, like me, you’ve ever struggled to define your boundaries or found yourself drained by overstepped limits, this workshop might be useful. By the end of the training, you will gain:
A clear understanding of your boundaries and their importance.
Practical tools to communicate and uphold your boundaries effectively.
Strategies to handle boundary violations constructively.
Sustainable habits to support your well-being and professional life, especially if you work in the lived experience sector.
At the heart of this workshop is a commitment to your wellbeing. By blending education with personal reflection and, if appropriate for the group, an opportunity for discussion, this training offers an intentional space.
Whether you’re new to boundary setting or looking to refine your practice, this workshop and the accompanying resource will equip you with strategies to navigate life and work with greater clarity and sustainability. Join us to take steps towards defining or redefining your boundaries.
