Tips from the NdC team for managing the festive season
NdC team member Molly Anderton assesses the challenges of the festive season, and has compiled a list of tips from other members of the NdC team for managing these difficulties—including eating, routine, social expectations and sensory overwhelm.
Christmas: the most wonderful time of the year, right? A time for loved ones to reunite and spend time together over Christmas dinner. A festive season filled with lights and music, gift giving and parties…
Whilst most people are celebrating, for many neurodivergent individuals the festive season can feel overwhelming, isolating and even difficult to survive. The change in routine as schools are closed, and people take annual leave, removes our safety net of predictability and familiarity. The additional pressure to socialise and spend time with others can lead to weeks of anxiously preparing a social script, and an increased need to mask. The general chaos that ensues as we count down the days to the 25th fills many of us with dread—we can’t even go to the supermarket without it being ten-times busier, louder and more overstimulating than usual.
Neurodivergent people are more likely to experience mental health conditions, which can also make Christmas feel like an incredibly difficult time of year. Many Autistic people have experienced trauma or will be battling an Eating Disorder. Instead of the festive period enabling us to reconnect with friends and family, neurodivergent individuals struggling with their mental health may in fact feel more alone than ever. We watch those around us effortlessly enjoying the Christmas food, not consumed by guilt or anxiety. We hear people reminiscing on years gone by, sharing achievements and life events from the past year, when perhaps it feels like the best thing we have done is simply survive.
I have spent most Christmases so far wondering why I always end up in tears and physical pain with a migraine. Realising I am Autistic this time last year has helped me to make sense of why I rely so heavily on replicating the same Christmas routine each year. Without this sense of routine and familiarity, the whole day becomes unbearable. I have started to find coping strategies to help me survive the festive season, alongside ways I can create moments of joy for myself. It might not be going to bustling Christmas markets or spending all day with family, but it is what works for ME. I know I need to plan ahead, asking when people will arrive, and when they will leave. This isn’t me being ‘rude’ or antisocial, it’s ensuring I have predictability and enables me to factor in when I might need to take a decompression break alone.
The rest of the team here at Neurodiverse Connection have shared their ways of surviving and finding peace over the Christmas period:
Jill Corbyn
Founder & Director
Consider what adds to overwhelm (which may include enjoyable things as well as challenges) and build in down time.
Plan to include things you love. Going for winter walks with my dog, Bat, being cosy indoors and doing jigsaw puzzles all bring me joy. Being outdoors also supports with processing and decompression.
Have an exit plan in social situations—knowing I can leave when I need to helps me to enjoy being present.
Kay Louise Aldred
NdC Associate
Maintain known food routines and preferences to support digestion and sensory needs.
Buy a takeaway Christmas dinner!
Be clear with friends and family about what you can and will, can’t and will not take part in/offer.
All emotions and responses to this season are valid: there’s no ‘right’ way to be during December!
Rest when needed: this time of year, cyclically and seasonally, energy and light are at their lowest.
Charli Clement
NdC Associate
Put no pressure on reactions to presents, or to be around family all day. Taking time away, alone to decompress is fine.
Stock the house full of safe foods, there’s no pressure to eat festive foods.
We don’t do things for the sake of ‘being festive’ – keep routine and structure.
No overwhelming decorations, no big sensory input from constant Christmas music.
We don’t buy food way in advance that is kept ‘for Christmas’ – this can be stressful with black and white thinking.
Meliane Mulders
HR & Finance Administrator
It’s the small things that bring me joy, like the coloured Christmas lights (if they don’t blink too quickly,) a warm drink, non-Christmas film marathons and building Lego with loved ones.
I look after myself by not forcing myself to do more socialising than I am capable of. I know large family gatherings are too much for me to cope with or enjoy, so in recent years I’ve swapped them for smaller celebrations with fewer people and a much more relaxed atmosphere.
I am doing what brings me peace and joy, even if that means creating different traditions.
Becca Hamilton
Governance and Team Lead
I like to make sure I have a craft activity lined up that I can engage with, either in a quiet space or around others, so I can focus on that rather than feeling overwhelmed. I also ensure that I have a comfort TV show lined up (Grey’s Anatomy for me!)
Lucy Gilbert
Senior Lived Experience Advisor
Just do you, don’t worry about keeping up with what others are doing!
